Did I over react? I need all your opinions!
After missing Thanksgiving, with us, Bobby finall got home yesterday, around 5:00, a little before I got home from work. Elliott and I expected him to have dinner with us, but NO! He tells us a friend called and he is going to dinner with her family! I lost it! I told him I wasn’t happy, in fact I was down right MAD. I didn’t bring up the fact that it was a holiday weekend and he was chosing to be with other people. I grumbled and rumbled and said “You will eat with us Sunday night!” I know he is an adult and can do what he wants to do but when it’s a holiday don’t you think Family comes first?? Any other time when we think he is going to be with us and changes plans I accept it!!! Let me know what you think! Was I wrong? He told Rachel I was throwing a Hissy Fit!
Posted by CarolFay on 11/29 at 08:03 PM
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I think Dear Abby (Maureen) put it very well. Your arms can only get so long before you just plain have to let go. In this case, if Bobby had promised/committed to a dinner with you and Elliott, then I think he knew his decision would cause some angry feelings. But he also knows the strength of a parent’s love - and forgiveness!
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/30 at 08:36 PM
Expectations can cause us lots of grief. Especially if people are supposed to figure out what we want. In the future you may need to say this is what we would like you to do and find out what he will commit to. You probably were already emotional because he missed Thanksgiving. Where was he for that? Carol is correct when she says we all have been through it. I remember a Mother’s Day that I had hoped John would come up for and I felt abandoned when he didn’t come up. We have to make our own lives separate from our children’s lives. As much as we love our children we have to let go. Thanksgiving in Chicago was fine. We played cards all weekend except for when I got my eyebrows threaded.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/30 at 09:12 PM
That is all good advice. If we are meeting at Sue’s tonight, I will not make it. There is a coach’s dinner for the team Bill is helping with (Covenant Christian). The coach’s wife happens to be my housecleaner, so I am glad to go with him for this. Next week we go to Florida—, then it is Christmas, so I guess I will see you all in the New Year. Happy Hannukah and Merry Christmas to all.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/03 at 02:14 PM
CF We were all prepared to discuss your reaction to a MIA child but we proceeded without you. Mostly you missed discussion of pending surgeries. According to our secretary you are the next hostess. Are you up for it in two weeks?
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/04 at 07:38 PM
Sure, I can do it.—December 17th.—but I may not have a tree. We are leaving today for Florida for one week.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/05 at 06:44 AM
I think at one time or another, we have all been in that position. It is difficult not to express our true feelings in an emotional way when we are hurt. You are right in saying that he is an adult and that he can make his own decisions. That doesn’t mean that they are the right ones - from a parents view. Someday when he has children .... In the meantime, I guess we can all be thankful for the times that our children do include us in their life. Maybe now that things have calmed down you can explain to him how you felt, what your hopes were, how you enjoy his company and would like him to tell you his plans ahead of time so that you can plan accordingly.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/30 at 09:05 AM